Joy and Pain.... The Joy
Friday, September 30
Joy - pump, pump, pump it up.
I decided there is just too much to write in one post so I am breaking up the joy and the pain - today is all about the joy - because - drum roll please -- I'm pregnant. Yep, after 2 years of trying and basically giving up, I'm knocked up. I'm not only knocked up, I'm 6 weeks along, as in 33 left to go! This is beyond a surprise for me. I'd let the idea of another baby go, I was focused on cheering friends on as they headed down fertility roads, but I knew my time had passed. How greedy can one girl get? I have 2 adorable children, they youngest is out of diapers, maybe 2 was all I was supposed to have.
Then whamo. Prego. I joked with the doctor that I didn't know how far along I was, but I could definitely tell him the three possible conception dates it would have been. Hey after two kids, I can tell this doc everything, he's spent more time in my whoo hoo than hubby has! He laughed, did the ultra sound - which if you've never had a vaginal ultrasound - imagine a doctor playing "driver with a stick shift" with a thing that looks remarkably like your vibrator. Got the official word - egg sack, six weeks, and good to go.
So yes, my plans were turned around - but in a joyful way. I am thrilled that the third one decided to show up. I am so happy the 4th bedroom won't be some made up idea but really will be a baby's room. I CAN NOT wait to hold an infant again, a little baby that grew inside of me and will make my heart grow the wider with new love and hope and promise.
Hubby is thrilled, but is not the practical type. He sees only good and joy, so he doesn't understand how this great news can also stress me. I, of course, hear baby and immediately think Ka-ching! Day care, diapers, schools, college! It's like watching the dollars sign float over my head and I'm starting to eliminate more fluff from our fiances. So I won't get a new purse every couple of months, and hubby, well hubby is going to have give up a few of his S*bucks lattes. Simply, the plan is out of whack, and it will take me a few days to get settled into the new topography of our life.
The only disappointing thing (ok besides the you're 35 and old and have to have lots more test talk) is that I don't have a great story to tell this one of the day they were conceived. My son was started out life in the womb on new years eve, it was romantic, we were in california and it was a wonderful evening. My daughter got her start in atlantic city on a romantic weekend. When I tell her about that magical night, I can leave out the booze and gambling, plus I have a chip from the casino/hotel we were staring at. This one, well this child will have to be called Mercy. You see, I'd had surgery and it'd been a while for poor ol hubby and I felt sorry for him. So this child will hear a story about wifely duties even when you don't' feel like it, and yes, even after you're married, there is such a thing as a mercy fuck!
Hopefully when I get around sharing news about the pain, it will be better and won't seem so severe. And as Buffalo Girl told me - the pain doesn't matter - "YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE A BABY!!!!!".
posted by Amy's Working @ 11:03 AM
6 comments
To quote a friend
Thursday, September 29
Fuckerama
Fuckerama
Fuckerama
This cracks me up! Thank you Cursing Mama, today is definately a fuckerama!
Extremes
In addition to my little prince's birthday, I was presented with some really good news, and some really bad news - it's the kind of news that is extreme on both ends of the spectrum - the good is amazing, the bad is fucking awful, and right now I feel like a tornado is running through my life. Even though most of you don't know me personally, couldn't pick me out of a lineup, I'm just not ready to write about either yet; sometimes putting words to stuff is when it becomes real.
The bottom line is this. My life is a series of plans, I like to know where I'm going, what direction my family is heading and I feel most comfortable when the plan is known and we're on track. Right now my plans just got majorly fucked up with both pieces of news so I'm not sure what the future looks like right now. Ok, I know, your never sure what's going to happen in life, but I assure you, most days i not only know what i think it's supposed to happen, I can tell you how it's going to happen. Today i posses none of that information and it makes me very unsettled.
I guess I should be grateful that my hubby, Mr. Anit-plan, is totally Ok in these moments. Where I'm paniced and trying to reorder things to figure it all out, he's saying "babe relax, it will be ok". Where I'm wrestling through options, going over every which way we can turn, he's saying, "we don't have to figure this all out today". Usually in those moments, I snipe back "hello, we do! How the fuck do you think all the shit in our lives gets done - I HAVE A PLAN." but today, I'm going with his advice, I need to just chill, let the dust settle and be ok with not having all the answers today.
fuck I hate days like this.
Six!
Wednesday, September 28
My little man is six today. I can't believe it. I mean six, as in one-third of the way to 18; 10 more years till he drives, and 5 more years till he discovers girls. Ok, he's discovered girls, but I mean really discovers them, in that can I have sex with you sort of way. I keep thinking this is impossible, time is going to fast! He should be like 3; I mean I can still see him in his very cute Old N*vy red and blue star outfit and matching blanket coming home with us from the hospital.
As a Mom, I'm much more prepared for my daughter growing up than my son. I'm ready for the period talk, the date rape warnings, and the loves and losses with boys. I have my strategies in place, I know how girls work and am prepared. But little prince, what do I do when he is hiding in the shower for way too long, and I totally know he's in there whacking off? If it were his Dad, there would be jokes, but my gut tells me that sons don't want their mothers teasing about masturbation. Or what about the night dreams we have to talk about? Or fucking girls and how to be careful? This is not going to be easy. Um little prince, we need to talk about ejaculation. ACK.
I guess six isn't all bad, his personality is really starting to shine through. He's smart and especially good at math. He's cocky in that proud, confident sort of way. "Do you know what a hundred plus a hundred is? I do and I'm only six." He's funny and has great timing with his humor. This causes fights between me and Dad because I give credit when the joke is that good and delivered just right even if it comes in the middle of being lectured. And the best part is he's caring and generous - oh trust me, he tortures his sister, but if push comes to shove and someone in our family is hurting, he's right there, worried and loving and trying to take care of you. I of course appreciate this because with my tendency to fall down, most people ignore me, but my little man still comes and checks on my knee and doesn't laugh at me the way his dad does when i've tripped down the stairs for the hundredth time that week.
One of my favorite daydream activities is to imagine my kids when they are older, what they will be like, what jobs they will have. I always see little prince as a lawyer or a baseball player confident, secure, and of course still a Mama's boy. And yes, because my ego is as big as an ocean, sometimes I even imagine him as President. Of course, that could be because I've always thought about politics myself and since there is almost no chance I'm ever running for office, the next best thing would be MOP (mother of the president). And no, in my day dream I don't steal the mike away from him during his state of Union address (but I would definitely try to get on Meet the Press).
I know I screw up a lot as a Mom. I'm not home as much as I'd like to be, my temper is way too short some days, and there are times where I just want him to go to bed even though it's 4pm. Still, I am really proud of the kind of my son has started out to be. I feel really lucky to be along for the ride, and most of all grateful that I have a few more years to figure this whole boy, penis, sex, girl thing out. And besides I guess I shouldn't worry too much about it going too fast since he still asks me to wipe his butt - how big can he be if I'm still doing that right?
Thank god they didn't win!
Tuesday, September 27
I just found out from A Mama's Rant that it's Banned Book Week. When I first read that there was an actual week for this, I was kind of surprised, people are still doing this? Apparently so. But after checking out the American Library Association's list of most challenged books from 1990-1999, I'm kind of pissed, I mean really, is this how people spend their time? The list is frankly ridiculous, silly, clearly whoever is working to get books on this list have never liked to read. Ok, Harry Potter, I understand if your uber-christian and think a story about a boy witcfh will somehow turn your child into a heathen - dumb, but I get why it's a big deal to them. And probably, The New Joy of Gay Sex is not something I want in my kids elementary school library, but I'm not gay, so I don't care if it's in my local library, and hey, maybe I'll show hubby a few tricks in the lesbian section. But some of these other books, I mean really, if they, whoever they is, had gotten their way, I know I wouldn't be the same person I am today.
Reading for me is an adventure, I get lost in the characters, my imagintion weaves through the story, and I learn with them, I cry with them, I laugh with them. I can read almost any book and find a reason to folllow it through to the end. A really good book, and I am attached to it, at work it calls for me to hurry home and read some more. when I finish, I put it down, like good sex and just savor the moment, sad that the story is over, hoping the author will be inspired to tell more stories with those wonderful characters. I mean really, Native Son, Lord of the Flies, Tom Sawyer. Hell, even Disney is ok with the story of Tom Sawyer. I kept looking around the site - is this the list of banned books in communist China? Nope, it's here in the good ol USA. I'm sorry for those kids whose parents keep them from some of the greatest writing and stories of all time. I mean comeon, the bible is a good read, lots of violence and smiting and all, but I can't help but wonder what the heck is so wrong with A Wrinkle in Time.
So read a banned book this week, pay attention to what your local library and community is saying about literature and books in our country. And if you enjoy being just a little bit of a rebel like me, read your kid a Shel Silverstein poem (yep he's on there too). Here's one of my favorites:
"Ickle Me, Pickle Me, Tickle Me Too"Ickle Me, Pickle Me, Tickle Me too,
Went for a ride in a flying shoe,
"Hooray!"
"What fun!"
"It's time we flew!"
Said Ickle Me, Pickle Me, Tickle Me too.Ickle was captain, Pickle was crew,
And Tickle served coffee and mulligan stew
As higher
And higher
And higher they flew,
Ickle Me, Pickle Me, Tickle Me too.Ickle Me, Pickle Me, Tickle Me too,
Over the sun and beyond the blue.
"Hold on!"
"Stay in!"
"I hope we do!"
Cried Ickle Me, Pickle Me, Tickle Me too.Ickle Me, Pickle Me, Tickle Me too
Never returned to the world they knew,
And nobody
knows what's
happened to
Dear Ickle Me, Pickle Me, Tickle Me too.
Ohh So Pretty
Monday, September 26
She's pretty, she's new and I love her. I've tested her on IE and Mozzilla. If you're using Netscape, Fuck you, and get a new browser. If you like her say hi, if you find a problem, kiss my ass. No seriously, kiss it. Ok, then leave a comment telling me what's wrong.
Happy Fall! And yes, I do look like her.......in my dreams.
Happy Fall! And yes, I do look like her.......in my dreams.
She gets that from her Dad!
Saturday, September 24
Got home from my lovely day to find out my angelic daughter was in major trouble at school.
Talking too much? Telling the teacher what to do? Not paying attention? Nope,those are minor offenses and ones I'm happy to take theblame for.
No, she pushed a kid off the chair that she wanted, and when the teacher tried to talk to her about it, she spit at her.
Rewind
That's right, I said she SPIT AT HER TEACHER. I'm red with embarassment and shame. And no, she's never done that to me! I blame her father's genes.
Needless to say there is one really unhappy camper up in her room right now. We will be preacticing the letters I-m s-o-r-r-y lots of times this weekend while I yell in my best "no wire hangers voice" do not spitat your teacher ever again!
Helllooooo????
Friday, September 23
If you really want to annoy me, you know, send me into a silent state of rage since I can't say "FUCK YOU ASSWIPE" even though you deserve it, just wait until Friday to tell me about all the things that are due at the end of this week. Oh yeah, and forward the email with the details that have dates on from Monday so I know how much of a prick you are.
Fuck you very much.
If I'd known then.....
Thursday, September 22
Growing up, my family never talked about sex - it was never mentioned, we didn't discuss body parts, heck I didn't even really see my parents french kiss. Mom was smart enough to realize that since she was too embarassed to talk to me about it, she better find me someone who would. So, one of our girl scout trips was to this "class" about bodies. They talked about vaginas, and penises and what went where. They explained sperm swimming and how babies were made. It was before aids so condoms, safe sex and other facts important today were not covered.
I vividly remember asking the question - how do you know when the penis is done? I can still feel the room crackle with the control of parents trying not to burst into laughter. Can you imagine if they'd said - when he grunts and drops on you? But I had it figured out - knew what made babies, and that act should be avoided if you don't want a baby. Later in high school they covered some more detail. I got to learn all the peices and parts, and by then had figured out that when people touched you in certain places, it was more than a body part, it felt gooooodddd.
Because of my sophisticated understanding of how the body worked, I was very careful and a good girl. I didn't want a baby at a young age, and had I watched Dirty Dancing and saw what happened with the botched abortion. When I finally gave it up, it was carefully, avoided any danger, and was always careful ever since. At 18, I knew the slighest mishap would force me into hard decisions - I didn't want to be pregnant, I didn't want to think about having an abortion so it was condoms, condoms, condoms, and then in my early 20's the miracle of the pill.
When I finally did decide to get pregnant, I was shocked it didn't happen the first month, second, or even the twelth. I mean really, I believed in all my heart as soon as those sperm got near the egg man, I was totally going to get knocked up. So I was shocked that it didn't happen right away. And as I started down fertility roads with other women, I couldn't believe what some of us had to go through to get a kid, large sums of money to make it happen, lots of anguish and dissapointment, and feelings of hate and loathing for a body that wasn't working the way it was supposed to. For me, even after 2 kids, number 3 is just a wish who may never come for whatever reason and I would love for someone to explain to me why a crack whore has 4 kids and no money, I have all the means in the world and not 3. Why wasn't this covered in that that class so long ago?
Maybe they scared us for a reason? Looking back know, I guess I'm glad I didn't know how hard it is to get knocked up. If I had I would have totally been fucking a lot more than I did.
Corporate Climber or Lackey?
Wednesday, September 21
Recently I attended a training seminar put on by my company about leadership. Some of it I'd seen before (yes I've taken the Myers-Briggs test 10 times) and some of it was new. The two days really allowed me to get a better handle on what sort of company I'm working for, network with my peers, and figure out some of the more perplexing dilemmas that being a contractor in a secure government facility presents (it's illegal to ask age in an interview, but I need your birth date to clear you to enter the building?!?!?!)
For me the highlight of the 2 days was when the two founders of the company came and spoke about leadership, what they expected of us, their vision for the company and how they planned to get there. Laid out before me was a road map, I could see the details and the big picture of how to advance and really succeed in this company. I shared the same values and had similar beliefs in what it takes to be a good leader. I learned how they planned to grow and could see how I could get on top of that wave and ride to the top. I sat on the edge of my chair excited by the opportunities, proud to work for a company that recognized it's people were it's greatest asset. In a word WOW!
As I headed home on the second day, I started to think through the details, what it would take to advance, how I would seize the opportunity. But age, and experience have made me more realistic, more aware of what's involved, and my balloon quickly deflated. To be that girl, the hard charging take no prisoners one - the one I'd been at 25 - I need to commit serious time and effort. I need to volunteer for more work, I need to network within the company and with outside peers in the evenings. I need to develop my own contracts in a way that makes people take notice and demonstrate my ability to meet the challenges of this growing business.
But at what cost?
Evenings away from the kids? Working on weekends? Committing myself to another company - although I don't think they'd break my heart like the last one - it's a commitment I've been loathe to make. Simply, I'm stumped. I know that I will have greater financial flexibility, be able to send the kids to the outrageously expensive college of their dreams. I know that if I put my mind to it, I can make a name for myself here and will be rewarded professionally. I know that they are a company that lives its values and I will always be proud to be an employee. But my kids won't know me, I won't have the snuggle time on the couches at night, I will definitely not have another baby because newborns and career climbing don't mix.
The answer seems easy right - family. But it's not for me. I know in 15 years the kids will be gone, and while they are a part of who I am, they are not all of who I am. In 2020 I will still have 15 more years in the workplace, and my career and work goals are also a part of who I am and what defines me. So I worry, is it possible to be the girl who shows up and does a good job but shows no ambition and rides at a steady rate until the kids are older? Will an employer wonder why I'm all of a sudden actively engaged rather than just doing my job? Or, do I just have to accept that no matter what road map I see here with this company, I have to be OK with the missed opportunity? It's part of the commitment you make when you're trying to be a working mom right - you can't have it all, so stop trying?
Some days I'm ok being the lackey who phones it in, does enough to get by, and therefore goes home with enough energy and joy to have a great night with the kids. Some days I wish I could give more to the job, go out and kick some ass, see how far I can really get with the skills and knowledge that I have.
I can't help but wonder what women of my generation will teach our daughters. Our mothers taught us that we could achieve anything, that college and careers were more than possible, they were our destiny. But they didn't tell us about the trade offs, the costs, the challenges of trying to do it all. I want my daughter to be whatever she dreams of being, but should I tell her that there are consequences so chose wisely?
I don't want to jinx it
But someone I love dearly may be expecting and I want to right about how excited I am for her, but I don't want to jinx it so for now I'm keeping my mouth shut.
Oprah Osmosis
Tuesday, September 20
As I plopped down on the couch, TIVO remote at the ready, honey got a perplexed look on his face. What are you watching? It's the season premier of Oprah, she's having Jennifer Aniston AND talking about the Hermes thing. How do you know this - did you spend all day looking at her website to see what's on????? Uh no, I just know.
And then I stopped and wondered, how did I know? Honey, it's easy, it's Oprah Osmosis. I've been watching this show since I was *gulp* 15 and after so many years, my super natural womenly powers are just tuned into these things. You have to understand that everyone my age and younger has grown up on Oprah. We learned how to be safe from and fight rapists (pull nuts and twist). We learned how to be good parents, and good listeners, and how to heal ourselves and be proud women. Do you believe that shit? Well some of it, do I think Oprah jumped the shark - sure, but it's Oprah, and she has Jen, and I don't know how I knew, but right now I plan to watch.
Ok by now I'll be honest, I was getting a little defensive, I mean really, how does he manage to know the entire football schedule for every NFL team after the first week? How does he manage to know the history channel is running a series on the great submariners of world war II? Men have this uncanny ability to know about all kinds of wacky shows that even if you put the TV guide in front of me I wouldn't be able to find.
So I watched - and have to say I wasn't that impressed - didn't you want to hear her ask "do you think Angelina is a bitch or did she do you a favor?" Instead it reminded me of a friend who wasn't ok, but wanted everyone to think they're ok so they walked around saying I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine. Uh, no you're not. Still, loved the 10M to help Katrina folks, and yes, I have her on my season pass and still plan to check out whose on, fast forward through the bad stuff, delete the shows I don't care about, and enjoy the great Oprah moments that still come from time to time. Still, I couldn't help but think, the people there for the first episode must have been just a little disapointed when they didn't hear "you get a car, you get a car, you get a car" I mean really, it's 20 years, and that's better than 19 - instead you got an ok Jen interview, a story about Hermes which again, I think she should have been more honest about - "hello, I'm black, and they didn't let me in ", some goofy thing about her dogs, and finally $10M of her own money which is amazing, but the equivalent of $100 bucks for me. Not a great kick off - I'm blaming it on her being busy helping with Katrina stuff.
And if you're wondering, later this week, Chris Rock will be on, along with John Bon Jovi (yum), and something with Lance Armstrong. Do I know all the details - no, but Oprah Osmosis is about the big picture, the details are why I tune in.
Oh, and one more thing!
Monday, September 19
The reason Renee and Kenny got divorced is because, my dear friends, Kenny is gay. Have you seen this guy - trust me folks, I lived in DC for years and this guy, well he looked like many hot gay men who live in that town. Just look at the type of coyboy hat he wears - it's a code I tell you. The real curved one, like the kind chicks wear - gay! Heck, even Tim McGraw, who is totally not gay said it. Plus she sites "fraud" he, he said he liked girls, and he really like boys - that's some fraud for ya.
Just like George Michael, Ricky Martin, and other mainstream artists who are afraid we'll figure it out - like "you had me at hello" wasn't a big clue, Kenny has decided to try and hide his true identity and poor Renee had to figure it out the hard way. Trust me, he's going to eventually get busted with some bad video or glory hole story.
Just like Jennifer!
No people, this not a post about Jennifer being on Oprah today - although I to plan to watch. Rather I have a problem of late and need some advice. My office at work is cold - really cold, make your fingers skinny and your rings spin around cold. As a result I have a nip problem. You know, blazer, shirt underneath, bra, and boobs - at attention. All puckered up because they're cold.
I just came from the bathroom and was mortified at my reflection - hi I'm Amy, and these are my areolas. I mean really! I immediately thought how Jennifer Aniston used to have that problem on Friends. What you didn't notice her nips - they were front and center. I often thought she used the artificial ones or that studio was really freaking cold. Now I am suddenly cursed with this. Of course mine point down rather than straight out at you (thanks kids) and they are a touch bigger as I'm not an A cup - but still right there for everyone to see.
I now sit in my office with my blazer clutched together to avoid and possible chance that they pop out. No big deal you say - I work with 80% men who are all technology types - you know, geeks who've made it rich. They will definitely be talking about the nips if one of them catches a glimpse. I think I'll get some breast pads, the kind that don't have the nip build in, at least that way they're not so front and center. Needless to say, I can't wait for fall to get hear so I can start wearing sweaters and heavier shirts that don't give the boobs away.
i'm not ready for this school shit!
Friday, September 16
In case you were wondering if I am a bad mom, let me clear it up for you, the answer is YES! At least according to my son. See we got this flyer from school about some picnic or fall thing that is happening tonight. I read bring chairs, bring bug spray, and I thought no way, it's not going to be fun, it's Friday night and I have NO desire to do this, so I tossed the paper.
In parallel with that, hubby had some stuff come up and was looking at what Friday would be better to be away, I said this one (as in today) because next Friday is the Friday before little prince's birthday party I would need help getting the house in shape. For the party. Which i have not started planning for yet. And no one has an invitation to. And I have to get done by tomorrow if there is any hope of any of his friends being able to make it. It's going to be at the house which means I also need to plan for rain as the idea is to keep everyone outside for as long as possible.
But that's not why I am a bad Mom, you can judge me on that next week. This week I'm a bad mom because my son has spent the better part of a day in tears since EVERYONE IS GOING TO THE SCHOOL TONIGHT BUT HIM.
Shit, I live in the land of the eager, fully-invovled mother. Not the, I'm tired, and need a martini, you kids go to bed, it's Friday mother - that Mom I get along with. So now I'm not sure what to do - it said to let them know by yesterday whether or not you were coming so they could plan. I could be the Mom that just shows up and does they "hey I work, at least I'm here face". I could call a couple other parents to see if they are really going. I could call the teacher and bitch her out for being either a part of the communist propaganda maching pushing all that community bullshit, or a part of the right wing capitalist conspiracy trying to rasie money for a public school which is already well funded by my taxes.
I so don't want to go to this. First, I really don't like things outdoors at dusk. Secondly I do not have the energy to meet a bunch of new people and sitting in my chair with my fuck-off face doesn't help little prince's cause. Third, hubby is not home, so I would have to do this solo and do the chase around my daughter to keep her out of trouble, and whisper yell at the kids to get in the god damn car when it's time to go. Oh, and I would have to starve because I have issues with eating food prepared in large vats at schools or other institutions, plus it's probably hot dogs and jello which make me want to hurl.
Or, I could stay home and be the bitch mom and I listen to about 4 hours of constant crying and wining unless I bribe him, or threaten him, and feel like shit because I totally hated when everyone else was doing something and I didn't go.
Ok, I'll be honest, there is no way in hell I am going to this thing tonight, and yes, I think that makes me a bad mom, and I feel sad for him that he's the child of the Mom who hates this sort of stuff - I'll try harder next time. *sigh*
'nough already
Thursday, September 15
today I have called in sick to work. Am I really, really sick? No. BUT, the kids are both in school for the day, hubby is gone for the day, and work has been so busy that I just needed a freaking break.
I plan to sit around watching my favorite day time tv shows, NOT work on chores and todo lists and act the way a really sick person would if they were home. Books, bath, nap, tv, repeat.
Ok, before you tell me what an awful employee I am, let me tell you that I do have really funky stuff coming out of my nose, and I do feel run down, and I do need to rest. It used to be that I always went to work, but then, eventually I would slam into a brick wall and be off for days with bronchitis, or a migraine or some other awful ailment.
Besides I'm PMS'd and my boobs hurt and my body aches, and I'm sick of people and just want to be alone.
Jealous aren't ya? It's ok, you have my permission - take a mental health day, call in sick! trust me, the world won't end.
things seen and heard at Amy's this weekend
Monday, September 12
Buckeyes losing a game they should have won and me paying the price of letting the kids stay up late because I was too busy to parent, I was watching football. Hey, it's how I was raised - how else I am going to save them from the evil influence of the ACC?
Little Miss acting like some strung out crack whore who will do anything to get her fix of Go Diego Go. Look I peed on the potty. Look, I picked up my dolls. Look I ate my beans. Look I am being quite.
Me thanking the TV gods for inventing season pass so I could help Little Miss get her fix.
Hubby thinking we would have sex when a)his wiskers felt like sharp needles used to torcher people b)kids weren't asleep because we weren't paying attention c)team lost and I was not in the mood. "use your left hand, he'll think it's a stranger" did not make him laugh nearly as hard as I did.
Little Prince continuing to act like little beast. Clearly the title of prince has gone to his head as he orders us around like lowely servants and then acts surprise when the peasants revolt and try to kill the prince. Off to your room! I will jump out my window and run away! Go for it!
Me folding 3 fucking loads of white laundry and none of it belonged to me. Curse you evil men and your white teeshirts and gross ton of socks.
Me declaring that I will never wash or fold white clothes again, I don't care if the men in this house go naked!
Hubbys look of shock at diner last night when I actually prepared a meal that tasted as good as a resturant, had ingredients besides canned green beans and precooked chicken breasts, AND didn't come out of a crock pot. The bitch is back!
Me announcing to hubby that I would totally leave him for Obama after watching "This Week with George". and hubby replying, he would leave me for Obama too. Bwahhhhh.
Hubby laughing so hard he was crying when I tried to show my mad soccer skills and instead fell so gloriously that the boys in the backyard were actually worried about me for the first minute or so. Turns out, I am no longer able to step over the ball and kick it back and up into the air. Instead I now step on the ball lose my balance and do a layout with a full twist and bonus yelp.
Hubby flipping me the bird in front of the holy roller because I yelled out the window hey yard boy, when you gonna be done? Her eyes were HUGE!
What a life!
Little Miss acting like some strung out crack whore who will do anything to get her fix of Go Diego Go. Look I peed on the potty. Look, I picked up my dolls. Look I ate my beans. Look I am being quite.
Me thanking the TV gods for inventing season pass so I could help Little Miss get her fix.
Hubby thinking we would have sex when a)his wiskers felt like sharp needles used to torcher people b)kids weren't asleep because we weren't paying attention c)team lost and I was not in the mood. "use your left hand, he'll think it's a stranger" did not make him laugh nearly as hard as I did.
Little Prince continuing to act like little beast. Clearly the title of prince has gone to his head as he orders us around like lowely servants and then acts surprise when the peasants revolt and try to kill the prince. Off to your room! I will jump out my window and run away! Go for it!
Me folding 3 fucking loads of white laundry and none of it belonged to me. Curse you evil men and your white teeshirts and gross ton of socks.
Me declaring that I will never wash or fold white clothes again, I don't care if the men in this house go naked!
Hubbys look of shock at diner last night when I actually prepared a meal that tasted as good as a resturant, had ingredients besides canned green beans and precooked chicken breasts, AND didn't come out of a crock pot. The bitch is back!
Me announcing to hubby that I would totally leave him for Obama after watching "This Week with George". and hubby replying, he would leave me for Obama too. Bwahhhhh.
Hubby laughing so hard he was crying when I tried to show my mad soccer skills and instead fell so gloriously that the boys in the backyard were actually worried about me for the first minute or so. Turns out, I am no longer able to step over the ball and kick it back and up into the air. Instead I now step on the ball lose my balance and do a layout with a full twist and bonus yelp.
Hubby flipping me the bird in front of the holy roller because I yelled out the window hey yard boy, when you gonna be done? Her eyes were HUGE!
What a life!
Blog redirect - GO BUCKS!
Friday, September 9
I was planning to write about the mystery of my children never being in a good mood at the same time so there's always angst in the house, and while it would have been funny and insightful and touching, I just couldn't focus because really all I keep thinking about is Big Ten Football! So I deleted those paragraphs, did a blog redirect and now plan to spend the next few minutes gushing about my true love, big ten football! Ok ladies don't tune out yet, because this is the quickest way to your mans heart. Ok, maybe it's not big ten football, but most guys love sports, and if you learn to love it, your weekends are a lot more fun. Trust me, there is nothing better than after the big game, your team won, sex!
I am an Ohio girl through and through and part of being raised in Ohio is the love of Ohio State Football. It's like the Red Sox in the Northeast, everyone in your family are fans, children are raised with the hopes of one day playing on the team, being a cheerleader for the team, or marching in the band. As a girl I was raised on football and it has never left me, Hubby knew a condition of marriage was adopting the bucks with active participation required. He was initially hesitant but has sense become the envy of many of his friends because "amy likes football as much as you - dude you are so lucky!" No shit, and I give good head too. Yes, he is a lucky man.
Anyway, this weekend is possibly one of the biggest games we've played since the National Championship Title Game (which we won by the way) a few years back. Yes all of you in the south may think Texas is great and they are going to light us up, but I beg to differ. Texas hasn't played in the horseshoe, they haven't experienced the good ol Midwest, hard working, never quit, smash you in the mouth football that everyone from Ohio to Iowa loves to watch. For the past month this is all my family has talked about - it actually keeps us close. I talk to cousins in Cleveland, family in toledo, and even have family coming to our house on Saturday because this is a game you just can't watch alone. I know, nuts huh? My daughter will be wearing her cheerleading outfit, my son will be in a jersey, and I and hubby will be decked out in as much scarlet and grey as we can layer on ourselves. I will spare you the photo of my red thong - but trust me, it's good luck AND hot! We will drink lots of beer, we will eat wings and burgers, we will yell at the TV thinking they can hear us. We will live out the traditions O-H I-O.
Am I nuts for this - yeah, but it fills me with memories of my uncle's houses where the kids knew to keep quite and watch the game. It reminds me of all that is great about the Midwest. It connects me to all of my family who will be watching, we'll be thinking of each other, we'll call and shout into the phone for ten seconds after key plays are made, we'll laugh and love and gauff at those poor Texans who came in cocky to the horseshoe and are now shaking their heads at the intensity of Ohioans.
Make fun all you like, but I challenge you to go to a game at Ohio, Michigan, Iowa, Penn State, Minnesota, pick any of the schools - it's like nothing you've ever been a part of before. The people are CA-RA-ZY, and just when you think your heart may burst from it all, the 4th quarter begins and you realize everything before that a warm up, the band works you into a frenzy, the crowd feeds on itself and manages to get louder. Your body vibrates, your ears ring, and you just can't believe you're there.
Yep baby, it's Buckeye Football, representin' the big ten in a major way. I can't freaking wait, only 32 more hours until game time. And if you don't believe me, look around today and tomorrow when you go to the store, the mall, or wherever you may be. Ohioans have spread out across this country and all of them know the rules, on Friday and Saturday before game day you MUST wear red, or a team shirt, or any other sort of buckeye paraphernalia you can get your hands on. You will see them, I promise you, and if you are really daring say "Go Bucks!" They will look at you and smile and same back to you, members of a fraternity bonded together by the love of a state, it's people, and traditions.
GO BUCKS!
I am an Ohio girl through and through and part of being raised in Ohio is the love of Ohio State Football. It's like the Red Sox in the Northeast, everyone in your family are fans, children are raised with the hopes of one day playing on the team, being a cheerleader for the team, or marching in the band. As a girl I was raised on football and it has never left me, Hubby knew a condition of marriage was adopting the bucks with active participation required. He was initially hesitant but has sense become the envy of many of his friends because "amy likes football as much as you - dude you are so lucky!" No shit, and I give good head too. Yes, he is a lucky man.
Anyway, this weekend is possibly one of the biggest games we've played since the National Championship Title Game (which we won by the way) a few years back. Yes all of you in the south may think Texas is great and they are going to light us up, but I beg to differ. Texas hasn't played in the horseshoe, they haven't experienced the good ol Midwest, hard working, never quit, smash you in the mouth football that everyone from Ohio to Iowa loves to watch. For the past month this is all my family has talked about - it actually keeps us close. I talk to cousins in Cleveland, family in toledo, and even have family coming to our house on Saturday because this is a game you just can't watch alone. I know, nuts huh? My daughter will be wearing her cheerleading outfit, my son will be in a jersey, and I and hubby will be decked out in as much scarlet and grey as we can layer on ourselves. I will spare you the photo of my red thong - but trust me, it's good luck AND hot! We will drink lots of beer, we will eat wings and burgers, we will yell at the TV thinking they can hear us. We will live out the traditions O-H I-O.
Am I nuts for this - yeah, but it fills me with memories of my uncle's houses where the kids knew to keep quite and watch the game. It reminds me of all that is great about the Midwest. It connects me to all of my family who will be watching, we'll be thinking of each other, we'll call and shout into the phone for ten seconds after key plays are made, we'll laugh and love and gauff at those poor Texans who came in cocky to the horseshoe and are now shaking their heads at the intensity of Ohioans.
Make fun all you like, but I challenge you to go to a game at Ohio, Michigan, Iowa, Penn State, Minnesota, pick any of the schools - it's like nothing you've ever been a part of before. The people are CA-RA-ZY, and just when you think your heart may burst from it all, the 4th quarter begins and you realize everything before that a warm up, the band works you into a frenzy, the crowd feeds on itself and manages to get louder. Your body vibrates, your ears ring, and you just can't believe you're there.
Yep baby, it's Buckeye Football, representin' the big ten in a major way. I can't freaking wait, only 32 more hours until game time. And if you don't believe me, look around today and tomorrow when you go to the store, the mall, or wherever you may be. Ohioans have spread out across this country and all of them know the rules, on Friday and Saturday before game day you MUST wear red, or a team shirt, or any other sort of buckeye paraphernalia you can get your hands on. You will see them, I promise you, and if you are really daring say "Go Bucks!" They will look at you and smile and same back to you, members of a fraternity bonded together by the love of a state, it's people, and traditions.
GO BUCKS!
Banking It
Thursday, September 8
Mrs. Amy, you son did not get on the bus to take him back to day care?
Well where the fuck is he? Acutally I said - What?
I think he went on the school bus that will take him to your house.
BUT NOBODY IS HOME!
We are working with the school to find him and I'll call you right back.
Ok.
Yep, that's what yesterday afternoon was like. I sat frozen in my chair staring at the phone wondering if my little man was ok, where he was, and whose ass I was going to kick up and down the fucking road because his little name tag clearly said DAYCARE VAN not school bus #. I was in shock, ready to burst into tears, and felt so incredibly guilty for being at work - 5 years of arguments to be a stay at home vs. working mom careened past me in a blink of an eye.
They did call right back and say that he was on the bus but had refused to get off because he didn't see a parent waiting for him. Whoopee I did somethings right, before school started we had a talk about getting on and off buses for school and not to get off unless you saw your day care teacher or a parent. I however, had not had the talk about - don't get on the yellow bus, you have to get on your school van talk because the teachers told us how they usher the kids to the right spot. Oh the guilt and shame and anger. I couldn't even call the school to complain, I was just too scared at what would come flying out of my mouth. It is the second day of Kindgergarten afterall, and they have to put up with my mothering ass for another 6 years, no sense in going off the handle on day 2. Instead I called hubby and told him to get over there pronto and figure this shit out. Finally my husbands non-confrontational style pays off - I'm sure the Principal (who greated him) was expecting a screaming parent and was taken aback by hubby's ok, just trying to undertstand doh doh-doh style.
Hubby calls, he's fine, the bus brought him back to the school and the day care waited for him and took him to afterschool care. The school said that they didn't have anything authorizing them to send him on the day care van.
OH reallllllyyyyyyyy
How about the forms I FUCKING FILLED OUT AND TURNED IN THAT CLEARLY STATE MY AUTHORIZATION. I had that moment at work where I realized all my colleagues we're going to see the Home Version of Amy. The one who can embarass a sailor with her profanity, the one who will beat you down with her anger and arguments, the one who wil get really really loud making her point. I heard hubby's silence which is his way of trying to avoid poring gasoline on my fire and took a deep breath. He's ok right? Yep, fine. Was he crying? Nope, just seemed a little scared.
Ok, well I'm banking this one. They definately lost my child and I have every right to fucking freak out, but I'm saving it. Earn a couple of extra credit points for being the understanding parent and not the one who gets crazy parent mark in the kids file the 2nd day of school. Hubby told me that the day care center director was bitching them out when he got there - let her come off as the bitch, and bonus points to her for being outraged. I certainly won't forget, but I'll hold onto this for right now. It's good the school thinks we're pretty OK parents, they have NO IDEA how much shit I will bring to their lives if anything like this ever happens again. I can only choke down a fuck up as big as this once, next time I will crack a 45 ton can of whoopass on their heads.
Still pissed on day 2 and will probably call the daycare to make sure he got there ok. Still not sure if I handled it right or if I should have made the what the fuck call yesterday. Most importantly, trying to not conjure images of my little man wandering the neighborhood scared because he got off the bus and nobodys home, or that awful ride back the school where he's sitting on the big yellow bus alone, wondering why the driver won't take him to daycare because that's where he knows he's supposed to be.
Fucking 'eh
Well where the fuck is he? Acutally I said - What?
I think he went on the school bus that will take him to your house.
BUT NOBODY IS HOME!
We are working with the school to find him and I'll call you right back.
Ok.
Yep, that's what yesterday afternoon was like. I sat frozen in my chair staring at the phone wondering if my little man was ok, where he was, and whose ass I was going to kick up and down the fucking road because his little name tag clearly said DAYCARE VAN not school bus #. I was in shock, ready to burst into tears, and felt so incredibly guilty for being at work - 5 years of arguments to be a stay at home vs. working mom careened past me in a blink of an eye.
They did call right back and say that he was on the bus but had refused to get off because he didn't see a parent waiting for him. Whoopee I did somethings right, before school started we had a talk about getting on and off buses for school and not to get off unless you saw your day care teacher or a parent. I however, had not had the talk about - don't get on the yellow bus, you have to get on your school van talk because the teachers told us how they usher the kids to the right spot. Oh the guilt and shame and anger. I couldn't even call the school to complain, I was just too scared at what would come flying out of my mouth. It is the second day of Kindgergarten afterall, and they have to put up with my mothering ass for another 6 years, no sense in going off the handle on day 2. Instead I called hubby and told him to get over there pronto and figure this shit out. Finally my husbands non-confrontational style pays off - I'm sure the Principal (who greated him) was expecting a screaming parent and was taken aback by hubby's ok, just trying to undertstand doh doh-doh style.
Hubby calls, he's fine, the bus brought him back to the school and the day care waited for him and took him to afterschool care. The school said that they didn't have anything authorizing them to send him on the day care van.
OH reallllllyyyyyyyy
How about the forms I FUCKING FILLED OUT AND TURNED IN THAT CLEARLY STATE MY AUTHORIZATION. I had that moment at work where I realized all my colleagues we're going to see the Home Version of Amy. The one who can embarass a sailor with her profanity, the one who will beat you down with her anger and arguments, the one who wil get really really loud making her point. I heard hubby's silence which is his way of trying to avoid poring gasoline on my fire and took a deep breath. He's ok right? Yep, fine. Was he crying? Nope, just seemed a little scared.
Ok, well I'm banking this one. They definately lost my child and I have every right to fucking freak out, but I'm saving it. Earn a couple of extra credit points for being the understanding parent and not the one who gets crazy parent mark in the kids file the 2nd day of school. Hubby told me that the day care center director was bitching them out when he got there - let her come off as the bitch, and bonus points to her for being outraged. I certainly won't forget, but I'll hold onto this for right now. It's good the school thinks we're pretty OK parents, they have NO IDEA how much shit I will bring to their lives if anything like this ever happens again. I can only choke down a fuck up as big as this once, next time I will crack a 45 ton can of whoopass on their heads.
Still pissed on day 2 and will probably call the daycare to make sure he got there ok. Still not sure if I handled it right or if I should have made the what the fuck call yesterday. Most importantly, trying to not conjure images of my little man wandering the neighborhood scared because he got off the bus and nobodys home, or that awful ride back the school where he's sitting on the big yellow bus alone, wondering why the driver won't take him to daycare because that's where he knows he's supposed to be.
Fucking 'eh
Jail or Millions
Wednesday, September 7
I am going to create a show called "Dress your Daughter!" (imagine shouting it like wheel of fortune, it really works) where Moms struggle to get their little girl dressed in an outfit that she doesn't want to wear. It will be on right before wrestling or run in place of America's Funniest home videos.
The set will be a closet of mismatched clothes on one side and a dryer or laundry hamper several feet away. Mom's have to rush to find an outfit that matches including socks and shoes and then persuade their little girl to wear it either through words, punishment or force and get them dressed in less than 10 minutes. Winners will receive a week away from the kids and hubby in a spa with their best friends and lots of booze and cute boys to look at.
To make it complicated, in addition to the mismatched clothes, I will hang deterrents to success in the closet as well. Bathing suits, ballerina outfits and princess costumes will be featured prominently to encourage the child to pick the thing they CAN NOT Wear to school. I can even make a little on the side with Disney and target for by having name brand deterrents. I will also have a bonus round the requires the Mom to head to another part of the stage to make breakfast and if the child does not change while the mom is gone, then she gets a new car.
Mom's around the world would hate and love this show. They would laugh hysterically at their own lives played out on TV, but also groan because they know just how pissed off the Mom is getting. The rest of the world would be horrified to see just what it takes to force dress your daughter. They would be even more shocked at how quickly the situation devolves into screaming and wrestling and throwing of all the fun clothes like a swimsuit out of the room so there is no chance they can try to put it on.
I would either got to jail for using children on TV or make millions as mom's around the country cheered and chanted the Mom to victory - Get Her Dressed! Get Her Dressed! Get Her Dressed! If only I'd recorded this mornings events to send in as a promo. I didn't win but rather did the next best thing and got the consolation prize - let her wear mismatched clothes and had her dad take her to school - everyone knows Dad's never can get their girls dressed in matching outfits.
The set will be a closet of mismatched clothes on one side and a dryer or laundry hamper several feet away. Mom's have to rush to find an outfit that matches including socks and shoes and then persuade their little girl to wear it either through words, punishment or force and get them dressed in less than 10 minutes. Winners will receive a week away from the kids and hubby in a spa with their best friends and lots of booze and cute boys to look at.
To make it complicated, in addition to the mismatched clothes, I will hang deterrents to success in the closet as well. Bathing suits, ballerina outfits and princess costumes will be featured prominently to encourage the child to pick the thing they CAN NOT Wear to school. I can even make a little on the side with Disney and target for by having name brand deterrents. I will also have a bonus round the requires the Mom to head to another part of the stage to make breakfast and if the child does not change while the mom is gone, then she gets a new car.
Mom's around the world would hate and love this show. They would laugh hysterically at their own lives played out on TV, but also groan because they know just how pissed off the Mom is getting. The rest of the world would be horrified to see just what it takes to force dress your daughter. They would be even more shocked at how quickly the situation devolves into screaming and wrestling and throwing of all the fun clothes like a swimsuit out of the room so there is no chance they can try to put it on.
I would either got to jail for using children on TV or make millions as mom's around the country cheered and chanted the Mom to victory - Get Her Dressed! Get Her Dressed! Get Her Dressed! If only I'd recorded this mornings events to send in as a promo. I didn't win but rather did the next best thing and got the consolation prize - let her wear mismatched clothes and had her dad take her to school - everyone knows Dad's never can get their girls dressed in matching outfits.
Water -
Mom, I want water like you.
Uhhhhh
You know with olives in it?
Time to stop using the Disney glasses for my Martinis.
Uhhhhh
You know with olives in it?
Time to stop using the Disney glasses for my Martinis.
First Day
Tuesday, September 6
Sniff. Sniff. Hey Mom. Hey, what's wrong? (oh shit, he hated school)
Dad won't let me play (oh shit he's a hooligan in the classroom, my mother, teacher of the year, is going to kill me).
Um, why? -- I don't know. sniff. sniff.
Put dad on the phone. Honey, why is he crying?
Because I asked him about school, and he won't tell me anything! So I told him you can't go out and play until you tell me what happened at school.
And my future played out in front of me. The next 13 years of cajoling, threatening, pursuading to get any nugget of information about what's happening with school, and his life, which he may or may not invite me to be a part of. The first 5 years of nuturing, encouraging conversation, working to talk about stuff gone - poof, first day of Kindergarten and already I'm begging for crumbs. OR Hubby could just not be as good as it as I am, clearly he would tell his mother about the great, exciting first day.
Ok, put him back on.
Hey bud, how was school. - Good.
So what did you do today.
Stuff. (ok little asshole, you're going to cough up more than that, I know your father is looking rather smug on the other end of this line, and I'm not going down without a fight).
Did you practice letters today? - No.
Did you say the pledge. - No.
Did you work on numbers. - No.
WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY TEACHING YOU???? Ok I didn't actually say that last part, but by now I was annoyed and know that hubby had already gone through this excercise and now understood the talk or I will break you routine going on at the house. I being the more mature parent (ha) was not so easily detered. Ok, I just wanted to show hubby up, but hey I was not deterred.
Ok, well tell me what happned on the bus. Oh really, and then what? And for the next ten minutes we played the "and then what game". He talked aboud circle time, and music class, and work tables, and snack time, and I heard the joy of learning, and the voice of a boy who was relaxed and confident about school.
Are you ready to go back tomorrow?
Um, I wish it were still summer and I could play all day, but I kind of like it and tomorrow should be good.
True that little man, true that.
Dad won't let me play (oh shit he's a hooligan in the classroom, my mother, teacher of the year, is going to kill me).
Um, why? -- I don't know. sniff. sniff.
Put dad on the phone. Honey, why is he crying?
Because I asked him about school, and he won't tell me anything! So I told him you can't go out and play until you tell me what happened at school.
And my future played out in front of me. The next 13 years of cajoling, threatening, pursuading to get any nugget of information about what's happening with school, and his life, which he may or may not invite me to be a part of. The first 5 years of nuturing, encouraging conversation, working to talk about stuff gone - poof, first day of Kindergarten and already I'm begging for crumbs. OR Hubby could just not be as good as it as I am, clearly he would tell his mother about the great, exciting first day.
Ok, put him back on.
Hey bud, how was school. - Good.
So what did you do today.
Stuff. (ok little asshole, you're going to cough up more than that, I know your father is looking rather smug on the other end of this line, and I'm not going down without a fight).
Did you practice letters today? - No.
Did you say the pledge. - No.
Did you work on numbers. - No.
WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY TEACHING YOU???? Ok I didn't actually say that last part, but by now I was annoyed and know that hubby had already gone through this excercise and now understood the talk or I will break you routine going on at the house. I being the more mature parent (ha) was not so easily detered. Ok, I just wanted to show hubby up, but hey I was not deterred.
Ok, well tell me what happned on the bus. Oh really, and then what? And for the next ten minutes we played the "and then what game". He talked aboud circle time, and music class, and work tables, and snack time, and I heard the joy of learning, and the voice of a boy who was relaxed and confident about school.
Are you ready to go back tomorrow?
Um, I wish it were still summer and I could play all day, but I kind of like it and tomorrow should be good.
True that little man, true that.
Mother to Mother
Friday, September 2
I started the week thinking - dumb ass stayed behind what'd you think was going to happen, and am ending Friday more liberal than I've been in a long time. To see the truly poor and helpless and old and young on the news every night is almost more than I can stand. I had planned to write about the Kindergarten orientation for little man today, but I find myself too distracted, wondering if the kids I keep seeing on TV have water, hearing of babies dying from dehydration, it overwhelms my normal selfishness. As I said earlier in the week I tend to avoid stuff like this, I distract myself by focusing on college football, or is Jen really dating Vince, but the pictures of kids started showing up, and then I saw grandma covered by a blanket, dead in her wheel chair and I couldn't look away.
I, like Emily find myself angry at the situation. How can reporters manage to get to all these places and fucking case of water can't? I will refrain from this turning into a political rant abou the current administration, although trust me, I could go on for hours. Instead, I think that all of us as mothers need to do what we do best and protect the youngin's and make sure that people know the rest of us are pretty darned pissed off that so many people are in need and will be for some time. Yes, it seems to be getting better today, but it's a long road out of hell. I'm not a person who likes to move the masses, I tend to be putt off by chartify fund raisers and all the give your money here, I'm more of a grass roots kind of girl - guess it's the cynicim in me, or maybe because i worked for a "non-profit" and know what can come off the top. But still, we all need to do our part - write you congressman and tell him that you expect him to be on this like flies on shit. Look for opportunities to take some of those toys you know your kids don't play with and send them to people who need them. Been There is looking to connect people directly, I'm sure more things like this will pop up across the great blogger/internet land.
I hope the situation improves, I'm proud the Mayor called bullshit on all the press conferences and spelled out just how bad the situation truly is. If you are in an area affected, you have my prayers, if you are a person helping those in need, you have my undying gratitude, and if you are a mother, don't look away, these are people who need mothering, and we're just the women to do it. And if you're GW or some other talking head in this administration - well, I'll save my words for you after everyone is in a shelter with a bottle of water in their hand and we have time to process the last few days so accountability and answers are not knee jerk reactions. But please, be honest, this shit is major and everyone needs to move heaven and earth to fix it. NOW.
I, like Emily find myself angry at the situation. How can reporters manage to get to all these places and fucking case of water can't? I will refrain from this turning into a political rant abou the current administration, although trust me, I could go on for hours. Instead, I think that all of us as mothers need to do what we do best and protect the youngin's and make sure that people know the rest of us are pretty darned pissed off that so many people are in need and will be for some time. Yes, it seems to be getting better today, but it's a long road out of hell. I'm not a person who likes to move the masses, I tend to be putt off by chartify fund raisers and all the give your money here, I'm more of a grass roots kind of girl - guess it's the cynicim in me, or maybe because i worked for a "non-profit" and know what can come off the top. But still, we all need to do our part - write you congressman and tell him that you expect him to be on this like flies on shit. Look for opportunities to take some of those toys you know your kids don't play with and send them to people who need them. Been There is looking to connect people directly, I'm sure more things like this will pop up across the great blogger/internet land.
I hope the situation improves, I'm proud the Mayor called bullshit on all the press conferences and spelled out just how bad the situation truly is. If you are in an area affected, you have my prayers, if you are a person helping those in need, you have my undying gratitude, and if you are a mother, don't look away, these are people who need mothering, and we're just the women to do it. And if you're GW or some other talking head in this administration - well, I'll save my words for you after everyone is in a shelter with a bottle of water in their hand and we have time to process the last few days so accountability and answers are not knee jerk reactions. But please, be honest, this shit is major and everyone needs to move heaven and earth to fix it. NOW.
That's some Romance for ya!
Thursday, September 1
You know I jinxed my evening with all the lovey dovey crap I wrote yesterday. I admit, in a moment of wedding memory euphoria I really believed all that romance, but thankfully my world slaps me right back in line when I'm getting to high on my perfect marriage horse and reminded me that marriage is about surviving each other as much as loving each other!
We mistakenly did NOT get a babysitter and go out for a romantic diner last night. Because we bought a new house and a new car in the last few months, we figured the 40 bucks for kid watching on top of a 100 dollar meal was not the best way to say I love you. Instead we went for the a total $30 at Damon*s which for those of you who don't live in the Midwest or east is a bar and grill that has decent ribs and TV's with little speakers at your table. Why such a lovely ambiance for the magical 9 years? Easy - Wednesday is kids night which means 99cents for the kids meals AND one of the TV's plays cartoons so the kids eat and watch the show in silence and hubby and I actually get to enjoy a meal.
We were through the first beers and salads and there were smiles and laughter all around when whamo- My little Prince decides he's had enough and is ready to go. "mooooommmmmm, how much longer, I want to go home and play with my friends?" Reason didn't work, so hubby decides to do one of his, if I can't do modern day parenting, I will digress into a dictator, kindred spirit of Teto, impersonation and started flinging threats and punishments across the table in a whispered yell. Great.
Little Prince is now buried under my arm crying while Little Miss is happily watching teen titans while dropping macaroni on herself because she's too engrossed in the show to bother to look where he fork is headed. I look at hubby and say, can you please stop we're supposed to be having a nice evening. This quickly devolved into the classic, You're too easy on him, oh yeah we'll you're an asshole fight and whola marital bliss.
By the time we got home, everyone cooled down, and the kids ready for bed, my daughter realized that she had not had nearly enough attention and decided that there was no way in hell she was going to sleep in her room and that she could outlast and out scream all of us. Again hubby, channelling Franco, decided that this was the day Little Miss was going to stop her imitation of a girl in need of an exorcism behavior and he would lay down the law by flinging out some punishments for her as well. Now, this girl has been a great sleeper her whole life who we've never had to coerce to go to bed, who you read one book to and leave her alone with a stack and she's asleep in 10. So could it be that maybe something is wrong, since she's not doing her NORMAL behavior? Nope, the lord of the house has spoken.
Not one to be outdone by a screaming child and husband I declare that it's time we all stopped having fun and just started listening to the lord master who will bark his commands to his loyal servants and we'll all bow down and beg for his kindness. Yeah, that didn't go over so well. He stormed off, I took Little Miss and put her in my room and turned on the TV and told her to relax - hello, she'll be asleep in 10 minutes then we move her, not a big deal.
Finally, kids in bed, head down stairs, he's sitting in the chair staring at the TV with steam shooting out of his ears. And I pronounced with all the moral superiority I could muster - someday, not today, we are definitely going to talk about parenting styles because I think you're a dictator and you think I go too easy on them, but I'll tell you what, when they're 30 they're going to like me and think you're an ass - do you want that? (if you listen carefully you'll hear happy anniversary love of my life in that sentence).
He glowered at me and barked - they need to fucking listen. I made a face and said "how can they when you're so busy shouting no one can hear a damn thing". And at the moment the phone rang and we knew it was my mother calling to wish us a happy anniversary and as I answered I said, boy Mom, you should have seen us, we managed to reenact the last 9 years in the last 3 hours fights and all. He laughed, I laughed, Mom sounded confused and the peace was made.
You think this is the part where I talk about hot anniversary AND make up sex right? Nope, Little Miss was freaked out all night and instead of being tired but satisfied, I'm just tired from being up all night with her. Did he get up once - nope! Did I punch him the face for not waking up - nope! Best Anniversary gift I could give the man. As for the parenting style talk, I'll bring that up when the kids have left for college, no sense ruining a good thing.
We mistakenly did NOT get a babysitter and go out for a romantic diner last night. Because we bought a new house and a new car in the last few months, we figured the 40 bucks for kid watching on top of a 100 dollar meal was not the best way to say I love you. Instead we went for the a total $30 at Damon*s which for those of you who don't live in the Midwest or east is a bar and grill that has decent ribs and TV's with little speakers at your table. Why such a lovely ambiance for the magical 9 years? Easy - Wednesday is kids night which means 99cents for the kids meals AND one of the TV's plays cartoons so the kids eat and watch the show in silence and hubby and I actually get to enjoy a meal.
We were through the first beers and salads and there were smiles and laughter all around when whamo- My little Prince decides he's had enough and is ready to go. "mooooommmmmm, how much longer, I want to go home and play with my friends?" Reason didn't work, so hubby decides to do one of his, if I can't do modern day parenting, I will digress into a dictator, kindred spirit of Teto, impersonation and started flinging threats and punishments across the table in a whispered yell. Great.
Little Prince is now buried under my arm crying while Little Miss is happily watching teen titans while dropping macaroni on herself because she's too engrossed in the show to bother to look where he fork is headed. I look at hubby and say, can you please stop we're supposed to be having a nice evening. This quickly devolved into the classic, You're too easy on him, oh yeah we'll you're an asshole fight and whola marital bliss.
By the time we got home, everyone cooled down, and the kids ready for bed, my daughter realized that she had not had nearly enough attention and decided that there was no way in hell she was going to sleep in her room and that she could outlast and out scream all of us. Again hubby, channelling Franco, decided that this was the day Little Miss was going to stop her imitation of a girl in need of an exorcism behavior and he would lay down the law by flinging out some punishments for her as well. Now, this girl has been a great sleeper her whole life who we've never had to coerce to go to bed, who you read one book to and leave her alone with a stack and she's asleep in 10. So could it be that maybe something is wrong, since she's not doing her NORMAL behavior? Nope, the lord of the house has spoken.
Not one to be outdone by a screaming child and husband I declare that it's time we all stopped having fun and just started listening to the lord master who will bark his commands to his loyal servants and we'll all bow down and beg for his kindness. Yeah, that didn't go over so well. He stormed off, I took Little Miss and put her in my room and turned on the TV and told her to relax - hello, she'll be asleep in 10 minutes then we move her, not a big deal.
Finally, kids in bed, head down stairs, he's sitting in the chair staring at the TV with steam shooting out of his ears. And I pronounced with all the moral superiority I could muster - someday, not today, we are definitely going to talk about parenting styles because I think you're a dictator and you think I go too easy on them, but I'll tell you what, when they're 30 they're going to like me and think you're an ass - do you want that? (if you listen carefully you'll hear happy anniversary love of my life in that sentence).
He glowered at me and barked - they need to fucking listen. I made a face and said "how can they when you're so busy shouting no one can hear a damn thing". And at the moment the phone rang and we knew it was my mother calling to wish us a happy anniversary and as I answered I said, boy Mom, you should have seen us, we managed to reenact the last 9 years in the last 3 hours fights and all. He laughed, I laughed, Mom sounded confused and the peace was made.
You think this is the part where I talk about hot anniversary AND make up sex right? Nope, Little Miss was freaked out all night and instead of being tired but satisfied, I'm just tired from being up all night with her. Did he get up once - nope! Did I punch him the face for not waking up - nope! Best Anniversary gift I could give the man. As for the parenting style talk, I'll bring that up when the kids have left for college, no sense ruining a good thing.