It's personal

Tuesday, March 25

I'm here at work tonight clearing out a thousand emails - hint group by subject to get the reply to all f*ers out of the way quickly and I realized that I've done this to myself.  I take on more and more responsibility - see gluttony posting 2 years ago that forewarns of this moment - until i'm absolutely at the breaking point.

now I just got off 5 days of vacation where the world continued to spin without me so that's part of the problem, but what it comes to is that i want to do lots of different things and instead i'm buried in the mundane.  I mean the laundry pile is just one of a thousand piles in my life that need help and while the idea of bringing in a second wife sounds good on paper, i don't think i'm really up for sharing.
 
Instead I need to be rich.  I know, didn't think I was so superficial did you.  But seriously, I don't need to be stinking rich - although that would be nice.  I need to be rich enough to buy all the services that I need to free myself up to do the things I want to do.  The good girl in me thinks this is a ridiculous, frankly frivolous thing to be thinking about or asking for.  I mean seriously, there are much better ways to handle an abundance of wealth besides my own personal ease in life.   Still, i'm in an anything is possible if I put my mind to it sort of mood, so here goes here's what I need:
 
--Personal Maid - at the house every other day just keeping up with the daily life of shit that falls to the floor.  Would also do the laundry the current one won't do and will agree to not do the kids room, because they have to learn responsibility right?
 
--Personal Chef - i eat like shit and if it weren't for kids there would be no food in the house. thankfully they force fruits and vegetables on us because we're not negligent parents but seriously, 10 meals a week and i'm good to go
 
--Personal assistant - just help keep my life and schedule straight.  call the school, make dr's appts, etc.  The reality is that I love organization and everything to be in its right place, p-touch labelled and organized by proper folder color.  i just can't keep up with my own vision.
 
-- Personal trainer.  i think it has to be a she because i'll be too embarrassed to talk to a well buffed guy about my goals - get rid of the is she pregnant or just fat belly is hard to say out loud.
 
-- Personal party planner - Little Miss is 6.  6 and 4 days old.  No party planned. No invites out, nothing booked.  She'll be lucky to celebrate before May.  Now I'm not that bad folks, we did do a special princess diner in disney for 8 people which costs more than 20 people at chuck-e. 
 
--Personal photographer - I take the casual ones, get them uploaded and backed up but nothing printed, scrap booked or organized.  And forget the professional ones. I'm just going to have to outright lie to princess in training about her photos - she's almost 2 and only has one official one besides the goofy in hospital photo.
 
 
So that's 6 - who am I missing?  And seriously, how much do you think this would run me a month? How much would you be willing to pay - I could probably swing 500 a month but i think this bill is closer to 2k.  This means get an Au Pair, a foreign second wife, or suck it up, do it myself and keep working until it's possible right? 


posted by Amy's Working @ 8:09 PM  0 comments


Mt. Laundrest

Monday, March 24

Everyone has clean clothes. Me and hubby have clean clothes, there are no clothes in the washer. No clothes in the dryer. Simply all clean.

BUT......

None of them are folded and I mean none. Instead what I have is a mountain of clothes, and I mean a giant pile, everst high laundry. All clean but getting more and more wrinkled by the day. They are on the love seat in my room, stacked in 4 oversized laundry happers, heaped on my bed with the hope I fold and put it away before going to sleep and it doesn't feel all that great.

normally the clothes are a mix of clean and dirty, I keep the pile in balance but today i should feel good right? Hubby and I worked hard to get caught up but then I realized as I stood staring at the giant mountain. I HATE laundry. And, with 5 people in them house I now understand that 1950's concept of laundry service. You can outsource all sort of shit now to India, but laundry services have gone the way of the spin dial phone.

So here's the delima. Clean laundry everywhere, kids upstairs finishing up showers, baby is bend. And then I hear this laughing and giggling. With an 8 and 6 year old this is never good. Go upstairs and my kids are diving on the piles. Naked. That's right little pennie and butts, clean bodies mind you seeking to tackel the mountain in search of underwear and pajamas. they would both look to leap to the top of it and see what came crashing down as well as try to dig tunnels and litterally burry themselves in a pile. Did I mention the 4 hampers had been empties to really give it some height?

So are those clothes which have been burrowed by my kids now dirty again? Knowing my sons clean but still little man parts rubbed all over daddys tee shirts makes me laugh. If hubby was home he'd say emphatically WASH IT ALL AGAIN. I mean but all is a big word in the everst sized heap.

Clean or dirty?

Ah fuck it, don't tell dad, shift the piles around and plan to fold it tomorrow or just wait and let it whittle itself down through natural selection and time until the clean-dirty pile balance is restored.


posted by Amy's Working @ 9:07 PM  3 comments


Its gotta squish out somewhere

Saturday, March 22

I was reading back over the last entries and realized just how good it felt to write about what was happening in my life. The biggest irnony for me is that I struggled with family, career, and work life balance and here I sit over a year later failing miserably at all of it.

I chose to be more career focused, took a big promotion, will likely make VP in the next 6 months but there was a cost to it. Time away from the family, time away from me, work acting like the number one in my life with a real cost to everyone.

Blogging makes me honest, I'd step away from it for that very reason - panic attacks about preganancy, no blogging. Work picking up the pace and feeling overwhelming - no blogging. So the solution to this is either get therapy which i'm not ready for yet or make time in my life for things that help me get or keep my head on straight. Sometimes the responsiblity of writing clever, well thought out words feels like a chore, like another "thing" that needs crossed off my list.

But, where else are these thoughts supposed to go - they need to squish out somewhere. This week is about committment to more than just my job.

Committment to my husband.
Committment to myself
Committment to my family
Committment to my health
Committment to my friends.

I need to reread this one from time to time so I make sure I get it, don't forget it, and remember that its when I'm balanced that I'm at my best.


posted by Amy's Working @ 3:43 PM  3 comments


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