As I plopped down on the couch, TIVO remote at the ready, honey got a perplexed look on his face.  What are you watching?  It's the season premier of Oprah, she's having Jennifer Aniston AND talking about the Hermes thing.  How do you know this - did you spend all day looking at her website to see what's on?????  Uh no, I just know. 

 

And then I stopped and wondered, how did I know? Honey, it's easy, it's Oprah Osmosis.  I've been watching this show since I was *gulp* 15 and after so many years, my super natural womenly powers are just tuned into these things.  You have to understand that everyone my age and younger has grown up on Oprah.  We learned how to be safe from and fight rapists (pull nuts and twist).  We learned how to be good parents, and good listeners, and how to heal ourselves and be proud women.  Do you believe that shit?  Well some of it, do I think Oprah jumped the shark - sure, but it's Oprah, and she has Jen, and I don't know how I knew, but right now I plan to watch.

 

Ok by now I'll be honest, I was getting a little defensive, I mean really, how does he manage to know the entire football schedule for every NFL team after the first week?  How does he manage to know the history channel is running a series on the great submariners of world war II?  Men have this uncanny ability to know about all kinds of wacky shows that even if you put the TV guide in front of me I wouldn't be able to find.

 

So I watched - and have to say I wasn't that impressed - didn't you want to hear her ask "do you think Angelina is a bitch or did she do you a favor?"  Instead it reminded me of a friend who wasn't ok, but wanted everyone to think they're ok so they walked around saying I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.  Uh, no you're not.  Still, loved the 10M to help Katrina folks, and yes, I have her on my season pass and still plan to check out whose on, fast forward through the bad stuff, delete the shows I don't care about, and enjoy the great Oprah moments that still come from time to time.  Still, I couldn't help but think, the people there for the first episode must have been just a little disapointed when they didn't hear "you get a car, you get a car, you get a car"  I mean really, it's 20 years, and that's better than 19 - instead you got an ok Jen interview, a story about Hermes which again, I think she should have been more honest about - "hello, I'm black, and they didn't let me in ", some goofy thing about her dogs, and finally $10M of her own money which is amazing, but the equivalent of $100 bucks for me.  Not a great kick off - I'm blaming it on her being busy helping with Katrina stuff.

 

And if you're wondering, later this week, Chris Rock will be on, along with John Bon Jovi (yum), and something with Lance Armstrong.  Do I know all the details - no, but Oprah Osmosis is about the big picture, the details are why I tune in.