Growing up, my family never talked about sex - it was never mentioned, we didn't discuss body parts, heck I didn't even really see my parents french kiss.  Mom was smart enough to realize that since she was too embarassed to talk to me about it, she better find me someone who would.  So, one of our girl scout trips was to this "class" about bodies.  They talked about vaginas, and penises and what went where.  They explained sperm swimming and how babies were made.  It was before aids so condoms, safe sex and other facts important today were not covered.

 

I vividly remember asking the question - how do you know when the penis is done?  I can still feel the room crackle with the control of parents trying not to burst into laughter.  Can you imagine if they'd said - when he grunts and drops on you?  But I had it figured out - knew what made babies, and that act should be avoided if you don't want a baby.  Later in high school they covered some more detail. I got to learn all the peices and parts, and by then had figured out that when people touched you in certain places, it was more than a body part, it felt gooooodddd.

 

Because of my sophisticated understanding of how the body worked, I was very careful and a good girl.  I didn't want a baby at a young age, and had I watched Dirty Dancing and saw what happened with the botched abortion.   When I finally gave it up, it was carefully, avoided any danger, and was always careful ever since.  At 18, I knew the slighest mishap would force me into hard decisions - I didn't want to be pregnant, I didn't want to think about having an abortion so it was condoms, condoms, condoms, and then in my early 20's the miracle of the pill.

 

When I finally did decide to get pregnant, I was shocked it didn't happen the first month, second, or even the twelth.  I mean really, I believed in all my heart as soon as those sperm got near the egg man, I was totally going to get knocked up.  So I was shocked that it didn't happen right away.  And as I started down fertility roads with other women, I couldn't believe what some of us had to go through to get a kid, large sums of money to make it happen, lots of anguish and dissapointment, and feelings of hate and loathing for a body that wasn't working the way it was supposed to. For me, even after 2 kids, number 3 is just a wish who may never come for whatever reason and I would love for someone to explain to me why a crack whore has 4 kids and no money, I have all the means in the world and not 3.  Why wasn't this covered in that that class so long ago?

 

Maybe they scared us for a reason?  Looking back know, I guess I'm glad I didn't know how hard it is to get knocked up.  If I had I would have totally been fucking a lot more than I did.