This week my cousin had a baby and one of the girls who works for me announced she was pregnant. Having had 3, and struggle as I did to get them, I was happy to know that I no longer had that wave of I HATE YOUR GUTS AGGGGHHH that used to wash over me happen. I am no longer resentful of other people who can have families. I still get outraged when a peice of trash mother ends up with kids, does something awful and I think - why can she get knocked up so quickly?

But these 2 women, they're great, both will be amazing moms, and me, I've got baby fever. Bad. I mean bad. We can handle 4 kids and my job that keeps me away from home more than it should! My super mom cape is quite impressive and I'm sure we can find a way to do it! I just really want to have one, hold one, stay up at night snuggling with one. There is truly no better feeling in this world than holding an infant, watching it look deep into your eyes, forcing you to be still because they take your energy and make it their own.

My littlest turns 2 next months, she still lets me holder when she's tired, but there is no more snuggling for hours on end. My oldest turns 9 this year and he's all arms and legs - snuggling with him is like wrestling with pool noddles. And then there's the princess, she's still a snuggler, but in between she's also a girl who likes to act the way I did - all mouth, lots of sass and frankly, a little bitchy some times. So the infant period of our lives is over. No more babies except those of friends and family. The cousin lives in Denver and it will be a few weeks until I get out there. The girls in my office is only 12 weeks so we've got a while to go with her, and me, I'll just grab the ones I've got and be content with the blessings they are.