Well its almost here, the big weekend of Moms retirement party.  I've made peace with my brothers selfish ways by deciding to just accept him for who he is, and I've gotten tremendous help from Hubby with last minute phone calls and errands, so everything should go smoothly right?  I'm still worried that its  going to be hectic, not fun for her or the rest of the family. I have regrets that wash over me like waves for ever offering to do this - our family just isn't funcational enough to pull this off smoothly.  At the event it will be fine, we'll all have on our happy faces, but it will be masking some major blow up that will have occured earlier in the night.  I hope I'm not self fullfiling prophesy, I'll just have to stay on the high road and bitch to Hubby so I don't let it show to others.  All I can say is that I have better moved back to numero uno child position.