Dr. X's office can I help you

Yeah, I need to come in and see Dr. X

Why?

Um why?

Yes, why?

Because I think he's hot!

Will it matter if I tell you - will he look at the reason the night before and prepare? Is it possible that i give you a wrong answer and somehow end up with an appointment in June? Do you think I want to take off time from work to sit in an office for 30 minutes, show you my insurance card for the ten-thousandth time, then be taken back by a nurse that is nothing short of rude only to finally get to the doctor that I like and is the only reason I tolerate this bullshit office?

Why not ask a little nicer "what seems to be the problem?" or "can you give me a sense of what's going on?" I have to sign all kinds of privacy freakin' documents just to see a doctor, but when I call, I'm supposed to spill my business to you AND you're rude?

Well actually, there's something wrong with my leg - it's numb in this one spot.

I've never heard of that.

ARGH - are you the doctor - no?

Well, I have it, and it hurts when you touch it, and I want to make sure it's not some kind of blood clot or something serious. This condition is also known as mother and sole-bread winner every ailment I have could kill me syndrome.

Well the doctors busy this week, how about the nurse practioner?

Fuck, I failed, I should have said my heart stopped beating last night.

Ok, she's fine - tomorrow at 4? Sounds good.

4:30 -NP - Hmm, Let me go get Dr. X, I want to talk with him about this before we formally diagnose. Oh, so I rate Dr. X after all huh?

Lateral Femorol Nerve Entrapment - ha bitch - next time save us all some trouble and just let me see the hot fucking doctor!