It's just not the same.....
A few months back I took a new job that put me 10 minutes away from home, reduced my workload and stress by 1000% and still kept me somewhat on my career path. But, what I gave up was 12 years worth of friendships and I miss them very much.
The last place I worked was not good for me in many ways. I fought traffic in a major metropolitan area for almost 3 hours a day - i love my car, but doing this for 12 years will make you insane. The company did not promote or pay worth shit, being in IT, female, and management befuddled many, and the demand for more and more with less and less people was very real. Add to that - hey I gotta go, my kids are sick, only to hear "are you coming back today?", and it makes it hard to explain why I ever worked there.
At points my work ethic and employee loyalty almost ended my marriage because Hubby thought, and rightly so, I was more loyal to the company than him and our kids. But how do you explain career and advancement to an outsider when everyone working there understood and was doing the same thing???? I had lots of nights feeling angry and frustrated rather than proud of what I'd accomplished. And still, I loved that place in some weird, mid-west obligated sort of way. When I finally left I felt liberated and was thrilled to be going, I knew I'd gotten a monkey off my back and was so happy to have found a new job that kept me on my career track and gave me back 3 hours/day plus my sanity by not having to commute. But what I didn’t expect when I left a place that I poured my heart and soul into and almost broke both, was that I would desperately miss my colleagues because really, they were my friends.
The thing about being a working Mom is that if you're a career mom and not one just punchin' the clock, you spend upwards of 50 to 60 hours a week with people who aren't your family. I added it up realized that I averaged 50 waking hours with co-workers and 52 with my family. Add to that 15 hours in the car, and if you're following along with the math, you'ver realized, I spent my life in 3 places, home, office, and car.
Now I find myself 5 months out thinking - oh, they are going die when they hear about my brother in-law knocking this stupid bitch up. Then I realize, nope, not sharing it with the new folks, and it's too complicated to write in an email to the old gang. My new colleagues are very nice folks, but they don't know me and my history, and frankly, I don't want to get that involved in a company and it's people again. Instead, I share small stories, but not the running dialogue I kept with the last crowd.
So I'm busier than before trying to maintain some of these friendships. It's harder because we all live many miles from each other and commuted into that central spot. Now I’m emailing more, calling more, and trying to schedule more, still it sucks and I miss them. The only thing that helps at all, is they miss me too - still it's just not the same.
