I am in total denial that I have a child starting elementary school in 2 weeks. Can't be. I mean I'm only 22 after all! I know they say the time flies once the kids come, but it went faster than even I was prepared for. I keep looking at him and thinking - who are you? You look like a kid who will be growing a beard in a few years, not that little thing I cuddled, and nursed and snuggled with. All the toddler is gone out of him, he's such a boy, he farts, he gets sweaty, and his vocabulary and language seems like I'm dealing with a 13 year old some times - including the attitude. It just can't be true, he's really going to be 6 AND in Kindergarten, AND before too long graduating high school!


I know I've had all summer to think about this, but I've put it out of my mind, like it wasn't really happening. Normally by this point in August, I've hit the stores for fall clothes, gotten the new pair of sneakers, checked out the pre-school class he'd be moving to so I'd know what the teacher was like. But this year, I just finally sat down and read all the school stuff last night. We got to orientation next week where he gets to tour the school, meet his teacher and bring in the 5 boxes of tissues and handwash. Will I be the only Mom crying the moment we see his classroom?


Still, I can't wait to see what sort of kid he grows into. I hope he continues to be kind, and inclusive, and funny. I hope he gets in just enough trouble to know he's having fun, but not enough that I have to worry about drugs or other stuff. I know, he won't be doing bong hits in Kindergarten, but you know what, that time is going to jump up on me, and I need to be thinking about it and prepared now. I hope he loves school as much as I did and finds joy in learning and figuring things out. I hope he continues to be a leader and challenges his teachers to be better educators. I hope I pay attention to the little things so I have really great memories once he's out of the house.


I feel like Kindergarten is the first step in the letting go process, in the mean time I plan to take every opportunity he gives me to spend time together and make sure he stays a Momma's boy, and always knows that I've got his back and will love him forever.


Jeez I'm a mess - just wait till next week, you'll have to wipe your screen because it will be soaked with my tears. *sigh*