That's me. A heartless bitch. Selectively sentimental, and not that great at loving things or symbols that in fact are junk. At least that's how I feel today, torn between the sentiment and the recognition that a large pile of junk is about to show up at my house.

See here's the scoop - hubby's mother died 15 years ago, he was still a teenager, it was totally awful and sudden, and tragic and he misses her something awful to this day. Losing her is a part of what defined hubby and who he is, it's part of the reason he is so kind and generous - he knows loss and how sudden it can be. He misses his Mom terribly and to this day on her birthday, major holidays and anniversary of her death, we take special care to remember and honor her. I am happy to say that I think I make it just a little bit better for him. I wish I would have known her as I think we would have gotten along famously, and I can cry at the drop of a hat when thinking about how she was the angel at my shoulder when my son was born, and how she has continued to watch and guard our family.

So I'm not a total heartless bitch, but just wait till you hear the whole story before you judge me. Ok, so when she died the kids were teens and it was hard to divide up the house and her possessions. Some family members took adavantage and we see her furniture in their house to this day. Others were kind and kept boxes in their house, garage, etc. so as the kids got older they could claim their stuff. When hubby and I got married the family started inquring as to when we would be taking the stuff. Since we lived in a tiny apartment, we thought it best to rent a storage unit out in SoCal and move everything there. Well that was 8 years ago, and I told hubby this year when he goes out to SoCal he needs to shut down that $100/month storage unit and ship back what he plans to keep to our recently moved in castle.

Great right? Well here's the rub. A lot of what is coming back is junk. Old junk. 15 year old junk. Ok, to be fair there's like one box of nice stuff, but other than that I've paid to store and will pay to ship the equivalent of a 5x8x10 (that's footage not inces) box of junk. Like I said, I'm a bitch, it's ok, you can say it too, I know. The stuff can be categorized into two groups - things from hubby's childhood - large box of used, heat-discolored star wars figurines including the millenium broken-ass falcon. And, things from his Mom's house that he said he wanted because he didn't want anything thrown away at the time. I do get some of it. Your mom just died, your young, your house is being divided up, and there are things that no one is specifically asking for, so you say, I want it. But as an adult, you'd think that he would want to weed through some of it right? Nope.

Oh comeon Amy you're exaggerating, I'm sure she had nice things. Yep, she did - and they are already at the castle. I will conceed that I am not a collector, we moved alot so I don't like to have too much shit around - just have to pack it back up. No, 3 full sets of spoons including racks to hang them on do not excite me. Yes one of them is from Charles and Diana's wedding, but they're divorced and she's dead, so how special is it? And, if it were just the spoons I'd probably be feeling more tollerant, but that is just the tip of the collectable iceberg, and what he's telling me he's found, I can only imagine what's in some of those boxes that he hasn't even opened. I have tried to be very supportive over the phone and only announced once - if you can't fit it in the box that's being shipped you better give it away or throw it the fuck out, I'm done paying to store that shit. Silience. Chirp. Chrip. Clearly I'm dancing a line.

Here are a few of the things that I know will be coming to my house in less than 2 weeks. 3 sets of encyclopedias all dated prior to 1985 A rather large salt and pepper collection. A box of used tupperwear (I am totally serious) including used ice tea pitcher and those large skinny plastic cups. A stereo from the 70's that looks like a buffet table that you open the doors to get access to it, actually it looks like this. Oh no, it doesn't work. I also will be the proud owner of 9 boxes of books that may have some mold or other water damage, the Castle of Greyskull, 2 old skate boards minus the trucks (whatever the fuck that means) and the best of all - an original nintendo complete with duck hunt, gun and best of all, zelda.

I will be spending the next few days practicing my comments, so that the phrase "throw that nasty thing out" is never uttered. Instead, I'll be going for. Oh, honey, it's too bad that this hasn't held up over time, I'm a little disappointed with the storage unit, I thought the climate controlled room would have kept this better. Do you think we can salavage it? I know I'm a heartless bitch, but I can't step on poor Ma's grave. I can tell you this before you totally send hate mail - IF she were alive today, this shit would already be gone!