Help for the Hubbys
Wednesday, June 29
Ok Gents, here's some advice for you that will save your ass every time....
1. When you wife has a doctors appointment, make you sure you check in with her the morning of to see how she's doing, and then call to see how it went after the appointment is over. This is especially important if it's a somewhat serious dr. visit, or one of those where she's not sure what may be wrong, but is definately worried. It is NOT ok to call after the appointment and talk about other shit going on around the house and then eventually get around to asking what the Doc had to say. She will be too pissed to talk about it at that point.
2. The longer you've been married the more you should be aware of certain patterns or habits that your wifes life may have. Say for instance, how her PMS flares up. My guess is that it's probably pretty consistent, you should know after several years if she has bad PMS or mild, and what sort of symptoms come with it. So, when you're wife is really bitch and wants to snap your head off, AND it's that time of the month. Don't fucking fight back. First, you'll lose, she is way to powerful and amped up on estrogen to give you any sort of fighting chance, and secondly, if you'd been paying attention, you'd know that she's not really mad at you, she's just bitchy from the whole PMS thing and it's best to take her licks like a Man and keep your fucking mouth shut.
3. If you have certain chores that are yours and yours to do around the house, don't act like you're doing the world a huge fucking favor when you actually do them. Guess what, we take care of a ton of shit for you every damn day. When was the last time you bought your own underwear anyway? Do you see us walking through the house switching out towels saying - oh my this sure is a lot to do, I've got to keep clean towels around for everyone, whoah, don't think I'll be able to do diner tonight? So, yeah for you, you get to mow the lawn! It shouldn't take all freakin day (unless you live on a farm which most of you don't) given all the equipment and tools and gadgets you bought to do this chore. AND, it does not mean that the 3 other things we aske for help on today get blown off!
4. Just because you did some stuff as a kid does not mean it's ok for your sons to do it. It's not funny for kids to run up to the neighbors houses and ring doorbells then ran away. It's even more not funny that you if you teach them the name of the game and don't take it serious. Yes, you used to do it as a child, yes you did worse, but here's a clue, the onreyness that was tolerated in the early 70's is not anymore. It's not something to be proud of, and yes the kids may take after you in their creative troublemaking, but make sure you punish them the same way you do when they smart off to you.
and Finally, after a long day of 1,2,3,4
Hard wirey wiskers do not feel good on crotches or faces for that matter. If you want some action shave that mess.
1. When you wife has a doctors appointment, make you sure you check in with her the morning of to see how she's doing, and then call to see how it went after the appointment is over. This is especially important if it's a somewhat serious dr. visit, or one of those where she's not sure what may be wrong, but is definately worried. It is NOT ok to call after the appointment and talk about other shit going on around the house and then eventually get around to asking what the Doc had to say. She will be too pissed to talk about it at that point.
2. The longer you've been married the more you should be aware of certain patterns or habits that your wifes life may have. Say for instance, how her PMS flares up. My guess is that it's probably pretty consistent, you should know after several years if she has bad PMS or mild, and what sort of symptoms come with it. So, when you're wife is really bitch and wants to snap your head off, AND it's that time of the month. Don't fucking fight back. First, you'll lose, she is way to powerful and amped up on estrogen to give you any sort of fighting chance, and secondly, if you'd been paying attention, you'd know that she's not really mad at you, she's just bitchy from the whole PMS thing and it's best to take her licks like a Man and keep your fucking mouth shut.
3. If you have certain chores that are yours and yours to do around the house, don't act like you're doing the world a huge fucking favor when you actually do them. Guess what, we take care of a ton of shit for you every damn day. When was the last time you bought your own underwear anyway? Do you see us walking through the house switching out towels saying - oh my this sure is a lot to do, I've got to keep clean towels around for everyone, whoah, don't think I'll be able to do diner tonight? So, yeah for you, you get to mow the lawn! It shouldn't take all freakin day (unless you live on a farm which most of you don't) given all the equipment and tools and gadgets you bought to do this chore. AND, it does not mean that the 3 other things we aske for help on today get blown off!
4. Just because you did some stuff as a kid does not mean it's ok for your sons to do it. It's not funny for kids to run up to the neighbors houses and ring doorbells then ran away. It's even more not funny that you if you teach them the name of the game and don't take it serious. Yes, you used to do it as a child, yes you did worse, but here's a clue, the onreyness that was tolerated in the early 70's is not anymore. It's not something to be proud of, and yes the kids may take after you in their creative troublemaking, but make sure you punish them the same way you do when they smart off to you.
and Finally, after a long day of 1,2,3,4
Hard wirey wiskers do not feel good on crotches or faces for that matter. If you want some action shave that mess.
posted by Amy's Working @ 8:14 AM
