This weekend we attended a baptims and I needed to get a gift. So my first stop was hallmark - they have all kinds of wacky crap that I think would be good for a gift, but alas there was nothing that peaked my interest. Then hubby mentioned a Christian store down the road from us. Now I've been to the shopping plaza several times that this store is in, but I've never registered it in my 'stores database'. You know the, driving down the road, see a shop and file it away for a later day. Once I recovered from the shock that hubby knew about a store I didn't AND that it was a christian store, i knew it would be a perfect place to go.

So I walk in and think I'm in borders. Only its all for Christians. Apparently Christians with cash. The kind that donate to GW. And I realized, I have missed my calling. There is cash in the god squad and I did not take the opportunity to create all kinds of crap these folks would buy. Besides bibles, which I expected, there were tons of home decorations - all kinds of subtle cross iron work, pretty stones with quotes, lovely prints that just happened to have scripture woven into it. I should be rich off this crap.

My favorite and I mean had to buy it, and bring it home to hubby was scripture candy. I shit you not. Check it out - yes you can order it at the CHRISTIAN DOLLAR STORE. I swear if I would have known that writing the psalms on a chocolate bar could make me rich, I would have totally done it. I have spent the last week looking at every day products and thinking if I could god-ify them. God's Toilet paper - oh they have some with prayers on it already. What about Cleanliness is next to godliness cleaning supplies? Or the all gods creatures version of pet smart. I'm telling you I have missed it.

I will save you all from a rant on how these business are totally exploiting the masses and taking advantage of a group of people who have stopped thinking for themselves and don't realize that the profits from this stuff are most likely going to some creepy kid toucher in Alabama. Instead I implore you to pray for my soul because each night as we cry because we're laughing so hard at the messages on our bible verse butter mints I realize, its official, I am definitely burning in hell.

As for the baptism gift, I stayed away from "Mommy why did Jesus have to die" bed time stories and went for the lovely precious moments child on the knee praying frame.