So the last post was all whinny and morose and sad because my family and I don't have the relationship that I want.  But really, how bad is it when I'm sitting on my bed typing this morning looking at the ocean with the sound of surf in my ears right?  The kids love it here and there is nothing that gives me more joy than sitting on the sand and watching them frolic in the surf.  And it really is frolicking.  Lots of skipping over waves, running back and forth as the water comes in. Sometimes falling and popping back up giddy with laughter.  They are ocean babies and I am so glad because there is no place I'd rather be at any time than the beach.

 

As for the whole darn family, I need to get over myself.  I think the first few days are like jumping in a cold pool. Your body is shocked, the air comes out of you and it takes a few minutes to realize you're supposed to be having fun. Once you get swimming around you get used to it and it doesn't seem so bad.  That's where I am now.  I'm also trying to do a lot of self analysis and determine how much am I part of the problem. None you say... Well you'd be right.  No, that's not true, I am part of the issue but I don't know yet how to fix it.  So many threads sticking out that I could tug on and the risk is that I make a big ol mess rather than straightening it out.

 

I am vowing to spend the next 2 days in a happy place, and try to see the good in everyone I'm sharing this house with. And if worse come to worse I will drink copious amounts and pass out by 10.